I changed my name.
In facing this decision I was met with many internal challenges. Elements in my shadow creeped up as I faced internal judgements I had around name change, like flakiness and an inability to commit to one's self. Ah, this explains the "loyal to a fault" pattern I have noticed. But this showed me something I didn't know about myself, for it was buried deeply.
There was something else, something much more insidious behind the resistances to changing my name. This was a pattern that affected every part of who I thought I was. And, without my knowing, it ruled my life. I had stifled my voice because I was afraid of being ME. I was afraid to speak and express my Truth, my inner knowing of Who I Was, for the fear of not being what other people wanted me to be. I put on the mask that kept the people around me content. I didn't want to disrupt their life by being me.
I was sacrificing my Self for the comfort of others.
It worked for a while. I was able to keep it up for nearly 40 years. But slowly the light in me began dimming....And one day, I felt it burning out.
This was my wakeup call and had set the stage of a 5 year journey through transformation. I have only recently discovered the lack of self expression as a deep and underlying cause to my burnout because there were many other layers to get through first. And this is not the final layer, by any means. But it is a massive one. And the removal of this layer has my transformation complete.
I have now embodied my Soul. I express my Soul. I speak through my Soul. I act of my Soul.
Soul embodiment is a lifelong process, but I am now burning so bright it has given me an exuberance for living! Every cell in my body dances with sheer joy! Every morning I am grateful for the life-giving breath which I receive. I SING! I love to sing! To myself, even but I had always previously refrained because "I was not a singer...I was not good enough to sing and someone might get offended..." Now I know why the birds sing. And they sing because they are joyful and they celebrate life! I choose to sing with them! I now sing with strangers randomly at the grocery store. I love talking to people where I previously shied away from interaction. And, above all, I LOVE showing others how sacred they are. How powerful they are. How incredibly wise they are! For it doesn't matter how many layers they currently wear, their Soul shines beneath and I intend to help them see just how Radiant they truly are!
Take off your layers. Take as many layers off as you possibly can because they are taking your life away from you. You may not feel it yet, but I bet if you give it enough attention, you will be able to notice it before it gets too dark.
You do not have to change your name in order to embody your Soul. This is simply the path I took that gave me back my self-worth, my sovereignty, my freedom, my divinity.
Whatever path you choose, let no judgements of yourself or others get in your way. May you allow the subtle guidance of your Soul and discover the strength to follow. And remember, you are sacred. You are divine. You are wise. You are necessary. You are worthy. You are Radiant!
Radiantly Yours,
🌟 Amrit Premgeet Kaur
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